Many people find themselves in the very position you might be in right now. You have probably even found yourself in this position before... so you already know that 'needing space' is just a small step away from an actual break up.
If not simply a way for him to 'ease' into breaking up with you without just coming out and saying it.
But what is the real reason behind 'wanting more space'?
The real reason, the message behind the words is really "maybe if we spend some time apart, then my feelings for you will change".
Hey, maybe you've even fallen into this type of false thinking before too. False thinking? Yes, waiting for feelings to change on their own is not in accordance with reality.
In reality, feelings come from what you are thinking. Not the other way around. If you really think a thing, then the feeling follows.
If you don't believe me, what are you feeling right now? Worried? Sad? Indifferent? And what have you been thinking about?
Now I want you to imagine that tomorrow your boyfriend comes to you and says, "I made a mistake, I've thought it through, and you're too important to me, and I love you too much to ever risk losing you." Now if you truly believed this was going to happen, how would you feel then? And doesn't just imagining it make you feel different?
Think about other times in your life when there has been strong emotion, each and every time that emotion is caused by the thoughts running through your head.
Ok, sorry, we got off on a bit of a tangent there.
My point is, that 'taking a break' is really just code for "I'm not feeling in love with you anymore, so I want to kind of break up, but not completely - just in case my feelings change".
But know this, you have the power to change his feelings. More than you might think.
Let me ask you. What is the usual response... perhaps it was your initial response... to a boyfriend wanting 'more space'?
The normal response is to start putting on the pressure. Trying to get closer, and find out why he's pulling away. Worrying that it might be something you're doing wrong. Well, sorry to say that that (very natural) response is for sure not going to make him want to get closer to you. In almost every case, it's going to push him away even faster.
Do you want to know how to turn the tables on your boyfriend? How to get him chasing you, instead of pulling away?
If you've read my other articles, you'll see that it's not all that different from what you would do to get back a boyfriend who has actually broken up with you.... but in this case it will be even more effective, because you're not quite at that stage yet.
The first thing you need to do is...
Agree. "Of course you need some space, I understand completely. I have been pretty demanding lately."
Then, use the time you have apart to enjoy yourself. And start to pull a way a bit yourself. Instead of phoning constantly, texting hundreds of messages a day, and so on. Cool off a bit. Keep contact short, and light.
Set up dates with others.
He will start to pursue you again. If he confronts you about it, this is a good sign. Don't turn it into a fight, just explain that you're giving him the space he needs. Don't be malicious, but show him that you're not going to just wait around forever.
Nine times out of ten you will find that he comes back to you stronger than ever. If not, then it might simply be that you are not that good together. In that case, be happy that you've saved years of wasted time.
An important part of this strategy is to remain completely indifferent (in your actions and your words) to whether you actually stay together or not. A complete lack of pressure, plus the fear of losing you for good, will draw him in like a magnet.
When your boyfriend says he wants more space, or even 'time apart' it's often an excuse to keep one foot in the door while testing the water elsewhere. When you show that he runs the real risk of losing you, (not you saying it, but through your indifference and actions) he will begin to pursue you more. It may even take your relationship to the next level.
Author Resource:-
Wait! Don't do anything until you've read how you can get your guy back even when you've hurt your relationship beyond repair.
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