Way #1: Do something unexpectedly wonderful for yourself: Facing a tough breakup can put one in a state of self-absorption. The walls can feel like they are closing in, and suddenly what once seemed a future so bright and full of possibilities becomes one that seems dark and oppressive.
Fear not: you can break out of this self-imposed emotional prison. What you need is to shift your focus away from your problems by doing something for yourself that will delight and surprise even you. Take a trip; sign up in a dance class; go out to dinner at a restaurant you have always wanted to try. Is budget a concern? Try spending a full day in any free-of-admission place that gives you a warm feeling and a sense of feeling centered (for me, that would be a large bookstore with the smell of coffee and books wafting about; where is it for you?).
Way #2: Envision your life as going even better than you had planned: Everything in life - including those things we think are good or bad - have their pros and cons, including the relationship you are trying to get over. Right now, you may be looking around and you cannot imagine things ever being good again.
But try asking yourself: what if - just what if - this change is actually going to benefit you in some way? What way might that be? What good could possibly come out of this? Come on, you know you can think of more than a few good reasons to be single again. For 5 minutes each day, try focusing on those possibilities, and picture yourself reaping their benefits.
Way #3: Flirt with someone new: Okay, the last thing you probably want to do right now is to think about another person in a romantic way. This is all the more reason to have the guts to do a bit of innocent flirting.
Try it at the post office, the grocery store, the gym. Say hello someone good-looking while looking into their eyes smilingly - and hold your gaze for an extra second or two longer than feels comfortable. A bit of flirting, even if it never leads anywhere, can be a great way get out of your funk and into the groove.
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